They say an apple rots from the core — and nowhere does this seem truer than in Westminster

A significant event is brewing in the House of Commons, and no, it’s not just another MP accidentally sitting on their microphone. Just two days ago, on 19 March 2025, a job vacancy was posted in Parliament, likely to attract a flood of eager applicants — perhaps even a few who think “policy” is a type of insurance. This announcement conveniently dropped one day before the Office for National Statistics revealed its latest data, which is about as comforting as finding out your dentist moonlights as a butcher. The figures? Alarming. The UK is now among the worst globally for the proportion of its population employed by the State. Cue the collective groan.

Today’s spotlight falls on one particularly eyebrow-raising example of this public sector growth. And what makes it so fascinating? The timing — on a Wednesday, because apparently, that’s when irony works overtime — and the setting: the Palace of Westminster itself. If these kinds of shenanigans are happening right under Big Ben’s nose, the odds of sweeping reforms in the Civil Service and broader public sector seem about as likely as spotting a unicorn in the House of Lords.

As the news spreads, critics are already sharpening their rhetorical knives. Opposition parties are calling the move yet another example of government bloat, while proponents argue it’s a necessary step to address the growing demands on public services. Social media, predictably, has turned into a battlefield of memes and outrage, with hashtags like #WestminsterWoes and #MoreJobsMoreProblems trending by lunchtime.

Meanwhile, the job listing itself has sparked curiosity. Described as a “strategic policy innovation role,” it’s as vague as it is ambitious. The responsibilities include everything from “shaping the future of governance” to “enhancing cross-departmental synergy” — phrases that sound impressive but leave most people scratching their heads. The salary, however, is less ambiguous, sitting comfortably in the six-figure range, ensuring it will attract both seasoned bureaucrats and opportunistic careerists alike.

Critics have also pointed out the timing of the announcement, coinciding with the ONS report that painted a bleak picture of the country’s employment landscape. “It’s like announcing a luxury yacht purchase during a flood,” quipped one commentator. Others worry this is emblematic of a larger problem: a government increasingly out of touch with the economic realities faced by ordinary citizens.

As debates rage on, one thing is clear: this new role has become a lightning rod for broader frustrations about the public sector. Whether it will lead to meaningful change or simply become another footnote in the annals of political theatre remains to be seen. But for now, all eyes are on Westminster, where the clock may be ticking louder than usual under Big Ben’s shadow.

Breaking news from Westminster: “An apple decaying from its core — guess that’s one way to keep the doctor away!”

• Job Title: Inclusion and Diversity Lead
• Location: Hybrid — Westminster and the comfort of your couch (pajamas acceptable on home days)
• Salary: Up to £66,497 per annum (yes, we know, it’s oddly specific)
• Hours: Full-time, 36 hours per week (don’t worry, we believe in coffee breaks) with flexible working options
• Holiday: 30 days annually, increasing to 35 days after 12 months (because you deserve a break, or five)
• Benefits: Gold-plated Civil Service pension (fancy, right?), interest-free season ticket loan, bicycle loan (or unicycle if that’s your thing)
• Contract Type: Permanent (we’re in this for the long haul)
• Grade: Band A2 (sounds important, doesn’t it?)
• Application Dates: Opens Wednesday, 19 March 2025 | Closes Tuesday, 2 April 2025 (don’t procrastinate, we’re watching!)

Role and Responsibilities
Role:
Championing inclusion, battling inequality, and cultivating a workplace where everyone feels free to bring their quirks, coffee preferences, and dance moves to the table. The Inclusion and Diversity Lead is like the superhero of the office (cape optional), offering strategic wisdom and hands-on support to ensure our organizational goals are met — especially the ones outlined in our Inclusion and Diversity (I&D) Strategy. Think of it as saving the day, but with spreadsheets and heartfelt conversations.

• Step in as the Director of Inclusion and Diversity’s trusty sidekick when needed — think Batman and Robin, but with fewer capes and more meetings — participating in Parliament-wide projects and programs.
• Be the voice (and sometimes the face) of Inclusion and Diversity (I&D) within the Senior Management Team of the People and Culture division — because someone has to keep things inclusive and fabulous.
• Champion key Inclusion and Diversity programs and projects like a fearless knight on a mission — minus the sword, but with plenty of spreadsheets.
• Master the art of research, paper drafting, and delivering presentations to internal boards and groups while juggling a colorful array of stakeholders — yes, it’s as exciting as it sounds.
• Create and deliver engaging sessions on equality, diversity, and inclusion topics — think TED Talk meets stand-up comedy (but with fewer jokes about office coffee).
• Manage projects and programs with the precision of a Swiss watch, ensuring they go from “great idea” to “mission accomplished” without a hitch.

If you’re worried about being the kindness police for everyone in Westminster, breathe easy — you won’t need to babysit the MPs. Your job is strictly focused on the employees within the Parliamentary Estate. So, no need to referee political squabbles or hand out “be nice” stickers to the bigwigs.

Now, about diversity, equality, and inclusion — don’t panic, you’re not flying solo on this one. Yes, ‘equality’ is part of your gig, but it’s more of a supporting role. You’ll be working with the Equality Act 2010, sprinkling best practices in inclusion and diversity like confetti, and maybe even conducting a few equality impact assessments. But don’t worry, the job description cleverly buries the word ‘equality’ further down, possibly to avoid any “Oh great, another DEI role” eye-rolls. Oh, wait… there it is. Surprise!

And here’s the good news: you’re not the top dog. You’ll have a supervisor, the illustrious ‘Director of Inclusion and Diversity,’ who gets the honor of carrying the heavier load. You’ll also be part of the ‘People and Culture Team,’ which sounds like a fun club, doesn’t it? Plus, you’ll have buddies from Parliament’s ‘Workplace Equality Networks’ to brainstorm with and share the occasional “Can you believe this?” moment. It’s teamwork at its finest!

In the United States, President Trump and his self-proclaimed “Government Efficiency Guru,” Elon Musk, are on a mission to declutter the public sector, starting with roles tied to ‘Diversity, Equality, and Inclusion’ (DEI). It seems they’ve decided that bureaucracy, like a junk drawer, needs a good spring cleaning. While this bold initiative is sparking interest internationally, it hasn’t exactly caused a stir at №10 Downing Street. Perhaps the British government is still too busy debating whether tea breaks count as a national pastime.

Now, let me put on my opinionated hat for a moment. Just this past Wednesday, a job ad for one of these DEI roles popped up and was promptly handed over to recruitment agencies, who are likely rubbing their hands together at the prospect of a nice commission. But honestly, isn’t this role about as necessary as a screen door on a submarine? Managers have always been responsible for creating a decent working environment — it’s practically in the job description. If an employee has an issue, they escalate it up the chain, like a game of corporate hot potato. And as for recruitment and retention? That’s what personnel managers are for! Adding a DEI specialist to the mix feels a bit like hiring a referee for a friendly office ping-pong match — overkill, don’t you think?

Perhaps the argument could be made that DEI roles bring a level of expertise and focus that general managers might lack. After all, creating a truly inclusive workplace requires more than just good intentions; it demands strategy, training, and, occasionally, the courage to admit that your company’s “diversity” photo is just the same three people rotated into different outfits. But even so, isn’t there a risk of overcomplicating what should be a straightforward goal? Inclusivity, at its core, is about respect and fairness — values that should already be baked into an organization’s culture, like chocolate chips in a cookie. Do we really need a specialized role to remind us not to burn the batch?

Moreover, there’s an undeniable irony in trying to streamline government operations while simultaneously multiplying niche positions. It’s like deciding to declutter your garage but then buying a shiny new toolbox for all the random screws you couldn’t throw away. The effort feels a bit like running on a treadmill — lots of movement, but are we actually going anywhere? If efficiency is the goal, wouldn’t it make more sense to empower existing roles to wear one more hat, rather than creating a whole new hat rack?

Of course, critics of this perspective might argue that DEI is too important to leave to chance or to managers already juggling so many plates they could moonlight as circus performers. They might say dedicated roles ensure accountability and progress. But does accountability really require yet another layer of bureaucracy? Or does it just require leadership to step up and act like grown-ups who know how to share their toys? The debate, it seems, isn’t about whether DEI is important — it absolutely is — but about how to achieve its goals without turning the process into a Rube Goldberg machine of inefficiency.